Paranormal Activity (2007)

Intruder

Theatrical release poster, Paranormal Activity. For review purposes only.

Please be aware that this review contains MINOR SPOILERS.

Once upon a time there lived a young man named Micah. Micah is a day trader with oodles of money who owns a nice house with a swimming pool. Micah’s girlfriend, Katie, is an English major, which means she has no money and owns nothing.

I was an English major. Trust me on this one.

What Katie does have is an invisible entity that has been following her around since she was a small girl. This entity comes out at night and makes itself known by thumps, scratching sounds, and footsteps. A weird humming noise heralds its coming. Lately the creature’s evening activities have escalated.

Katie wants the entity to go away, so she turns to her handsome boyfriend for help. Micah’s solution is to put cameras in the bedroom to film them while they sleep, which turns out to be not such a good idea.

Dr. Fredrichs the Psychic visits Micah and Katie in their wonderful dream house. He tells them two things: 1. The entity is not human, which means that it’s almost certainly a demon. 2. Don’t piss it off.

Luckily, Micah isn’t about to let some asshole fortuneteller who can’t predict traffic patterns tell him what to do. Micah knows what he’s doing. Micah doubles down, bringing a Ouija board into the house when he promised Katie he wouldn’t.

As the demon’s nocturnal emissions activities increase, Micah even challenges the demon’s manhood! Since demons are technically fallen angels, maybe that’s not too smart, but Micah doesn’t care. Micah’s not going to back down! Micah’s got everything under control!

Spoiler: Micah has shit under control.

According to IMDB, Paranormal Activity was made on a $15,000 budget. It is found footage, a subgenre I adore. I found this to be mildly scary on the first watch. There are a few jump scares, but they are more effective when you don’t know when they are coming.

After the first viewing, Paranormal Activity is about as scary as an episode of The Golden Girls. The most interesting thing about this movie turns out to be the dynamic between Katie and Micah.

Katie can leave, but the entity will just follow her. That’s what she thinks. I’m not so sure. If the movie has a point, it’s that Katie needs to leave Micah. She does not leave, even though her sister tells her she can come live with her.

Micah is an asshole, but he doesn’t force Katie to do anything. Not physically. Micah uses psychological tactics such as browbeating his girlfriend and telling her it’s all her fault. Since she believes that anyway, it works even though it’s not true (the hauntings are random).

Micah drives the plot. He is the straw that stirs the drink, the little engine that could. He has no idea what the fuck he’s doing, but he can’t admit that, because in his eyes admitting ignorance is the same thing as admitting weakness which is the same thing as admitting defeat.

I’ve known many Micahs in my life. People like Micah rule the world. Always have, always will. They have total faith in their abilities. Depending on your viewpoint, it’s either touching or textbook Dunning-Kruger.

But Micah is worse than that. Much, much worse. Micah is a voyeur. Micah likes the weird shit. The demon’s antics turn him on more than his bootlegged copy of Naughty Nurses Part XXIV. Do you think it’s a coincidence that Micah puts the cameras in the bedroom?

I have no idea if demons feed off negative energy. I do know that everything Micah does makes the situation worse. Katie knows it, also. It’s tough to watch, but you can’t tell grown-ups how they should feel or what they should want. And Katie wants Micah.

Paranormal Activity left me with many unanswered questions. Why does the entity fixate on Katie? Why is the demon most active when they are sleeping? And why does Katie stay with a guy who is a total fucking asshole?

I admit it. Micah broke me. He aggravated me so much that I leapt into the air and pumped my fists with joy when the movie ended. Which I never do, because Substack movie reviewers are supposed to have more dignity than that.

Paranormal Activity is insanely influential. Like The Blair Witch Project, it paved the way for a thousand grainy movies featuring clueless young kids with video cameras. Every time you view a cheap found footage flick on Netflix, an angel gets its wings thank Paranormal Activity!